Defining Your Relationship: What Does Interfaith Mean?

Webster's dictionary defines 'interfaith' as "involving persons of different religious faiths." Based on this definition, most people associate the word 'interfaith' with couples consisting of members of two completely different religions, for example, a Muslim and a Buddhist. 'Interfaith,' however, also refers to several other categories of couples.

Couples whose religions share the same basic Scriptures, yet differ in their belief foundations are also interfaith, such as Christians and Jews. Those who share the same religious foundation but disagree on they way the faith should be practiced are interfaith, including couples made up of two different Christian sects such as a Catholic and a Baptist. Finally, a couple made up of one religious partner and one pagan or atheist can also be considered interfaith.

Regardless of which of these categories you fit into, it is likely that you will face many obstacles as you explore your relationship. Studies have shown that interfaith couples are more likely to divorce than those subscribing to the same faith (I will examine this claim in a future article). If true, this is probably a result of battles concerning how to raise the children, or the fact that the proverbial problems with in-laws are exponentially increased in these circumstances. Yet, where there is a will, there is a way, as long as you are prepared to meet the challenge.

There are several things you must keep in mind to increase your chances of building a strong and healthy interfaith marriage.

1. HONESTY - The most important thing in any relationship is honesty. You must honestly evaluate your own beliefs and your expectations of your partner from the beginning. If you have any hesitation, it is best to bring it up right away, rather than convincing yourself it will smooth itself over. It rarely ever does, and this will only cause worse complications in the future.

2. COMMUNICATION - Don't wait to discuss important issues. It may seem a little ridiculous to be deciding how you will raise your kids before they are even a glimmer in your eye, but doing so ahead of time will make it easier in the long run. Anticipating future problems will allow you to determine how much each partner is willing to compromise, and if compromise isn't your strong suit, you can decide whether you the relationship is worth working on before children actually become involved in the scenario.

3. COUNSELING - Seeking the opinions of professionals can make a big difference to an interfaith couple. No, this does not mean getting together to gossip with the girls - or guys - or even mom. It means that when considering marriage, clergy members of both faiths are a wonderful resource to discuss the issues. Not only are they experts in the field of religious traditions, they are also trained to help couples deal with scenarios they might never have thought of on their own. This insight is especially helpful from clergy who deal with interfaith marriages on a regular basis.

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