Maybe We're Getting Somewhere

Call me naive, but it turns out you actually have to believe everything to join a church. When my husband and I talked to the minister of the Presbyterian church we are contemplating joining, the minister didn't try to "recruit" us or anything like I thought he might. He wasn't pushy at all, which I liked. Rather, he told us he thought we should attend the "inquirer's class" in the fall to see if we think that church is the place for us.

I asked him some very hard questions to which he gave very reassuring answers. For example, one question I had was why should I join a Christian church that believes that only christians go to Heaven when my own mother, who died five years ago, was not a Christian? He assured me that whether or not a person goes to Heaven is a matter only between that person and God, and that people's beliefs have nothing to do with it. "You should be relieved to know this," he said. I am.

Also, he told us that there is no hurry to baptize our baby. The Presbyterian church does not believe in baptism as an "insurance policy" for babies. He told us to take our time and make sure that church was where we wanted to be before baptizing our baby. I like that view.

But the best part of our conversation was when I told him that I wasn't comfortable with all the beliefs in Christianity. "Nor would we want you to be," he answered. That made me feel better.

So we are going to attend the inquirer's class in the fall and probably join the church. But I feel at ease because the minister told me that it was perfectly ok for the rest of my family to join even if I didn't want to. I can still participate in all the church activities and he assured me that many people do that there. "You just have to be comfortable with the fact that dad and the kids take communion while mom doesn't," he said. Ok with me.

It's always interesting to learn how couples deal with religious differences in their marriages and a new site is publishing love stories of couples who have bridged all kinds of differences, including religious ones. Check it out at http://www.pbs.org/lovestories

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