Thoughts on Interfaith Weddings


So, you're engaged to be married. Congratulations! But your future spouse has a different religious background? Don't despair. Your wedding planning doesn't have to result in inter-family warfare. Below are some important tips from my experience of planning my own interfaith marriage.

1. Communicate. Get your families together to discuss what traditions are most important to each family and to the two of you. If that's not possible ask both sides to email you or call you with what they feel is most important. Yes, it's your wedding, but you'll quickly learn that, especially if you're not paying for it, it's really not your wedding. You don't have to include everything everyone wants, but it's nice to ask people for their opinions before you make your decisions.

2. Compromise. Include as many traditions as you can from each religion in the ceremony. For example, my father-in-law is a very devout Episcopalian and we asked him to read a Bible passage that meant a lot to him during our wedding service. We asked my mother, a Unitarian, to read a poem that she loved. We had the other parents light a candle together. Everyone participated and many traditions were included.

3. Get information. Read a lot about interfaith marriages and ceremonies. One good source is the book called Celebrating Interfaith Marriages by Rabbi Devon A. Lerner. You can find information about the book it at http://www.interfaithmarriage.com Some other sources include http://www.interfaithfamily.com/article/... which has a sample of a Jewish-Catholic wedding ceremony with both a priest and rabbi officiating and http://www.interfaithfamily.com/article/... which is titled "Thoughts on my Interfaith Wedding," by Rabbi Tirzah Firestone. There are many services that will help you plan an interfaith wedding and will provide priests, rabbis, etc. to officiate wherever you want to get married. http://www.tlc-services.com/Ceremonies.h... is one of these services.

Remember, an interfaith wedding can be just as beautiful and moving as other weddings, it just takes more planning.

The copyright of the article Thoughts on Interfaith Weddings in Interfaith Marriage is owned by Julie Richie. Permission to republish Thoughts on Interfaith Weddings in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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