Forming Holiday Traditions

Interfaith marriages present challenges all the time, but perhaps most of all during the holidays - especially when children are involved. This year, for example, I have this incredible urge to celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah, even though I don't know the first thing about Hanukkah. I know you should play Draidel and light candles on a Menorah (where do you buy one of those things, anyway?), but that's the extent of my Jewish knowledge. Pretty pathetic. It shouldn't be that way because, technically, I have been told, since my mother was Jewish, then I am actually Jewish. So this year I am determined to increase my knowledge of Judaism. There must be a web site that explains it all for me. And maybe it will have online ordering so I can buy a Menorah and a Draidel right from the comfort of my own home.

But, as with every religious issue, I fear conflict. Family conflict, that is. What will my very Christian husband and in-laws think of my little Jewish adventure this year? Will they feign parental-like approval and then exchange worried glances behind my back? I don't know. And what about my own "Jewish" family members who distance themselves from Judaism? Will they think I've lost my mind? Probably. But I can always blame my holiday religious epiphany on the fact that I'm pregnant. Hormones do strange things to one's religious identity.

Maybe it is because this is my first year with a child who is actually old enough to explain to me that Santa comes down the chimney, says "ho-ho-ho" and brings toys, that I feel this overwhelming need to bring some spiritual meaning to the holidays. Yes, there's Jesus' birth and everything, but that's only one perspective. I need to explore more because half of me (my father's half) came from a different background. Not that I would have known it, growing up with a Christmas tree every year, but there is an undeniable fact in my life that some of my ancestors were Jewish. I feel like I should at least make an attempt to find out what these people did and celebrated so that when the inevitable day comes that my son asks me, "what does it mean to be Jewish?" I can actually give a semi-intelligent answer. Explaining the ingredients of matzo ball soup will not get me far, I fear.

Anyway, since Jesus was Jewish, doesn't it seem appropriate to celebrate the holidays in both a Christian and Jewish manner? I think he'd be very happy - I mean he has to have forgiven

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