Mr. Gutenberg, I want you to know that these so-called 'books' you've been sending us are a nifty little invention. I would not by any means want to rule out the possibility that SOMEBODY might be interested in providing you the cash flow that you need to get this project of yours off the ground. Perhaps the church may be able to help you out - I hear that they're always in need of smudgy, illegible copies of the bible to torture their employees with. I have one or two concerns about the marketability of these items that I might as well get right out on the table though.
Here's my first concern: the first 'book' that you sent us, which I had our bald, cowl-wearing friend read aloud to me, was a long, meandering narrative about some fellow named Hieronymous. Hieronymous starts out by meeting a nice girl, but then he loses the girl. So he sets off in search of adventure. He kills a few Dragons, rescues a few damsels, meets one or two interesting enough people, then returns home at the end to find that the dame wants him after all. Now, this is all very well, but what do I care about some guy named Hieronymous who I've never even met? Probably wouldn't like him if I did meet him, either. If I'm going to put in the time that it takes for me to get to the end of this yarn, then I want the story to be about ME, not some pasty little vagabond with an unpronounceable name. Haven't you ever heard of the second person singular?
My second concern is this: something that even I could figure out, humble illiterate though I am, just from looking at your product, is that, let's face it, there's only one way that the story can end! Try as I might, I'm not going to be able to change or influence what gets said by those intriguing little squiggles on the page. The story's already pre-determined, from start to finish, no matter what I or the monk or anybody else might have to say about it. This, as my lucubrating clerical friend was quick to point out, is a VERY depressing prospect when you're starting in on page one of some heavily inkstained four-hundred page tome. Isn't there any way you could re-design these things so that my own choices and preferences have some influence on the outcome of the story? What makes you think that I DESERVE to read a story with a happy ending, anyway? For all you know, I could be a complete idiot. Maybe I deserve to be horribly upset, or harshly chastised by the end of the story. Shouldn't how the tale ends sort of depend on how good a READER I am, as well as just what sort of mood the author of one of these things happens to be in when he sits down to write?
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