The Benefits of Sharing the Family Bed

Why, then, do so many American parents shun the idea of sharing sleep with little ones? Perceived convenience may be the biggest factor. They are convinced they couldn't sleep through baby noises and toddler wiggles (heaven forbid a parent should miss any sleep because of their children). Another reason may be the preoccupation with privacy and intimacy. The media has women convinced that the bedroom should always be a romantic, lacy den of seduction. But let's get real, 99% of the time, nighttime is for sleeping and the bedroom is where you sleep and put your clothes. Intimacy is not a problem for family bed parents who simply use a little planning, creativity, and common sense to make time alone.

Another argument against the family bed comes from the fear of not producing an "independent" child. But to the contrary, children who are securely attached are actually more self-reliant having always had their needs met, both physically and emotionally. Furthermore, the trend toward early independence and "letting go" is a modern concept that is likely not in the best interest of a young child. True independence comes from having always been able to depend on someone, day and night not from being forced to depend on oneself from infancy.

The biggest factor that dissuades parents from sharing sleep is probably the new cultural taboos, the shock and disapproval from family, friends, and acquaintances when parents place baby's nighttime needs and happiness as high on the priority list as their own. It sounds something like this: "You better get that baby out of your bed!" (GASP) "They let the baby sleep with them!" "Don't let them get started or you'll never get them out!" I'll leave the explanation of this attitude to those who have them. I can't understand it myself. I hope the day will come once again when the question asked of parents is not why would you share sleep with your children, but why not?

For more on this subject, try reading The Family Bed by Tine Thevenin, Three in a Bed by Deborah Jackson, or Nighttime Parenting by Dr. William Sears.

Go To Page: 1 2

Articles in this Topic    Discussions in this Topic