I, Shayla Swart, am infertile
Having a child is supposed to be the easiest thing in the world. Two people who sincerely love each other share their love and nine months later out pops a child and now you have a happy family. If only it worked that way for everyone. In all reality 1 out of 3 couples suffer from some form of infertility. It's hard to believe that 33% of the population faces a challenge in getting pregnant but it's the truth, and it's a hard truth to accept.
Denial is the easiest way of coping, you simply say to yourself, "The timing just wasn't right this cycle" and move on thinking that for sure next month will be the magical month. This pattern goes on and on for months on end. Eight months pass, then another three, you begin to lose count and you begin to lose hope. It's easier, however, to lose hope than to say, "We can't make this happen on our own". To say that one phrase is to admit that you're being robbed of the one thing all couples want, a natural conception. It takes a lot of time and even more courage to find it in yourself to admit you and your partner can't do this on your own.
Why is it that it's so hard to admit? The answer is simple; admitting you're infertile opens you up to the publics' perception that you are less of a person. It hurts to say I need help doing what a ton of couples can naturally do.
In my experience it took sitting on the bed with my husband crying my eyes out in frustration to finally say, "Matt we can't do this on our own." It was the hardest thing I've ever done in all my life. Here I was informing my husband that he was going to be dragged through the infertility ringer right alongside me. You see infertility doesn't just effect one person it effects the couple. Two people have to work together and sacrifice their privacy for the privilege of being parents.
In our case Matt had to give up a lot of his privacy even though I was the one with the problem. I was prepared for the questions and procedures, he was not. It was unbelievably hard for my husband to watch helplessly as he prayed that this month my body would wake up and help us out.
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