The first injection is always the hardest

Most often a battle with needles is something that can be considered life changing, but never in a good way. A heroine addict headed for recovery, a diabetic injecting insulin those are the things that come to mind when you think of needles. My battle with the needles was on a totally different level.

Here I was 19 years old holding a vial of Repronex in my hand knowing that one silly amp cost as much as dinner at a fine restaurant. I was preparing myself to begin my battle with the injectable gonadotropins; the one and only drug left that could help me get pregnant. It was my last chance before pulling out the big guns and using that scary word In Vitro Fertilization (IVF).

I've always been scared of needles, ever since I was a little kid I hated getting my blood drawn. So now here I sit by myself, on our old red couch trying to find the courage to draw up this medicine and inject it into my thigh.

I pulled out the needles looked them over and kept telling myself over and over and over, "You can do this Shayla, you want a baby this badly don't you?" I padded out to the freezer and grabbed an ice cube. Carefully I wrapped a towel around it, wet it down and felt for the most muscular part of my thigh. After finding the perfect spot I laid down the towel ice cube down on my thigh and grabbed up my mixing needles and two vials of Repronex.

To look at this powder you'd never imagine it could help you conceive a child. I mean come on, it's just a white powder that's got a slightly yellow tint to it. How could this be the answer to my many months of suffering? After drawing up 2 amps of saline into my syringe I injected it into the first Repronex bottle gently swishing it as to make sure that no bubbles formed. I pulled out that 2 amps back into the syringe and injected it all into the next and last bottle of Repronex, once again swirling it around in gentle circles. Finally I put two amps of air in the syringe injected into the last Repronex bottle and drew up all 2 amps of this miracle drug. In my hand I held $100 dollars worth of medication. One tiny shot was worth six hours of my husbands' work.

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