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The Search for the Perfect Baby

© Jeri Carr

How do you envision the perfect baby acting? Many parents or parents-to-be envision a baby who is content most of the time (he doesn't cry very much). In painting the picture a perfect baby, they may describe a baby who enjoys being held and being put down at their convenience. This "perfect baby" probably likes to sleep in his crib and goes to sleep at night without fussing and sleeps through the night within the first few months. He takes regular naps during the day and nurses on a schedule and never cries to be fed before it's time. He enjoys playing in his playpen or crib. He contentedly sleeps in his portable car seat when his parents visit friends or go to the store or church.

Is that how you picture the perfect baby? Is your baby like that? If your baby is like the above description, you probably have what's commonly known as an "easy" baby, or perhaps you trained your baby to be like that using one of the various cry-it-out methods out there.

Your baby might be just the opposite of the baby I described above. Or your baby might have some of the traits but not others. Perhaps you tried to let your baby cry-it-out and you feel like a whimp for not following through. You might be growing fearful that you somehow created a fussy baby. Let me assure you, you did not. And you are not a whimp. You are a strong mother. Be confident and listen to your mothering instincts.

Whatever your baby's personality--easy, fussy, or in between--I encourage you to rejoice in the wonderful traits that your baby has and enjoy your little one to the fullest. Don't be afraid to hold your baby all you can. Don't be afraid to trust your baby and trust yourself and meet his needs.

All babies are wonderful, but if you don't have whatever you envision as the perfect baby--perhaps you even have a fussy, high need baby!--I understand how discouraging it can be. You may be in shock, and people will offer advice and tell you all sorts of different things. It can be confusing! But take heart. There are many reasons to rejoice in the baby you have.

Some babies are happy being picked up and put down whenever their parents have the time or inclination. But some babies who are happy not being held actually don't enjoy being held. This can be very discouraging for parents. If your baby is a cuddle bug, be happy and enjoy the love he shows you in his cuddles.

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