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Deciding When to Wean

© Jeri Carr

If you breastfed your newborn baby, you can be proud that you gave him the best start in life. Maybe you plan to wean your baby when you return to work, when he reaches a certain age, or maybe you'd like to let him choose when to wean. When deciding, realize that this normal, beautiful way of feeding and nurturing a child brings wonderful benefits for as long as you continue and beyond.

For instance, many mothers who work outside the home enjoy nursing their child (see Breastfeeding and Returning to Work). It can help you reconnect with each other after being away. The closeness and the "mothering" hormones released when you nurse encourage feelings of nurturing and love. As an added benefit, these same hormones help moms to relax.

Contrary to what you may have heard, there is no "right age" for weaning a child. Each child is unique. Many children have a need to suck well beyond a year, and most are not emotionally or physically ready to give up breastfeeding at this time. Some experts believe that children were designed to breastfeed for a minimum of two and a half years (see A Natural Age of Weaning by Katherine Dettwyler, PhD). Your child will not continue to nurse forever if you don't wean him by a certain age. When his nursing needs have been met, he will no longer need to nurse.

Just because a baby seems to lose interest in nursing, or refuses to nurse, does not necessarily mean he wants to wean. Older babies often become so fascinated with the world around them that they distract easily. Though admittedly not always convenient, you might find that your baby nurses better in a quiet, darkened room, or he might enjoy nursing while lying down with you during the day (and even at night). If your baby refuses to nurse, especially if it is sudden and occurs before your child is a year old, suspect a nursing strike (see Is Baby Weaning or is it a Nursing Strike? by Nancy Mohrbacher). Encourage lots of skin to skin contact, perhaps bathe with him, and carry him or wear him in a sling or other cloth carrier often. Offer to nurse while he is sleepy, and stop using all artificial nipples (you can use a cup for supplemental feedings). He will probably start again in a few days.

Your breastmilk constantly changes to adapt to the needs of your nursling. For instance, during the first part of a feeding your baby receives watery foremilk which satisfies his thirst. If he continues to nurse he will be rewarded with rich, fatty hindmilk (the "dessert") which will satisfy his hunger. Also, since your breasts make milk on a supply and demand basis, as your baby needs more milk, he can effectively increase your milk supply by temporarily nursing more frequently.