The process of learned anger and now learned rage was on the way to becoming an ingrained part of Randolph. Because it was at this time Randolph started experiencing anger at his father for not accepting the fact he had been reacting out of what he had been taught. He had felt "proud" of himself. He really believed his family would be proud of his behavior. But... what Randolph learned by the end of this turnaround day was he would not be able to control his anger, his rage, nor his feelings of not measuring up to the expectations of his family pride. This 'not measuring up' became Randolph's belief system he held until he turned fifty when he was shown a new belief system to choose.
This article comes after my articles on shame and blame to help you see the natural layering of anger. Learning about the illness of hypochondria will help you be able to see how anger explodes to newer, higher levels leading to rage. This layering is found in most hypochondriacs. Some hypochondriacs have suppressed anger, some do not. Some people staying ill act out on their angry emotions and some do not. The piece of anger always there is that awful feeling of not measuring up to someone else's expectations.
When a person does not measure up to someone else's expectations they begin to learn they cannot make people happy by their behavior. Next, they start to lose attention from the people they are trying to please. One day an illness strikes the person seeking attention. The attention comes from all around once the illness is diagnosed and disclosed. What the hypochondriac sees happening to them now is a proof of love from those finally paying attention to him. The process in place is... the beginning of a belief system... 'If I am sick, I will receive all the validation needed to give me a reason to keep on living.' Soon the hypochondriac starts feeling better, the attention he was getting from others starts to wane and another illness is required, therefore brought about, in order to receive the desired attention again. We have now arrived at the vicious circle within the new belief system. Complications usually come next.
A hypochondriac actually does not get as tired of getting sick as he does of trying to make others proud of him. Usually the ill one has spent years trying to be 'all they expect' so people will notice them. The truth in this world is people do notice illness and people really seem to love discussing cures. Therefore, those who are ill are noticed by not only their relatives, they are noticed by doctors, nurses, and even their pharmacists. The network of humans around a hypochondriac not only can become vast... they are usually the ones paying a lot of attention for a good while. Then those around an ill person begin ignoring the hypochondriac because they become tired of the drama. They also do not relate because they do not talk much about their health. Surprising fact is that only 1 in 50 people really find it necessary to discuss their health.
| Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: | View all related messages |
For a complete listing of article comments, questions, and other discussions related to Victoria Tallman Freudiger's Hypochondria topic, please visit the Discussions page.