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Saying Goodbye to Blame - Page 2

© Victoria Tallman Freudiger

Most hypochondriacs have had experiences similar to Blame. "What actually happened here?" I ask all of you to contemplate. Most of my readers will come up with answers like, "Blame was mistaken and she was naïve. She should have known her mother's back would not break." If that was your answer, "thoughts such as those come from people who are the very ones who do not understand the illness of hypochondria to the degree that it needs to be understood to be helpful."

Bill on the other hand, had been with his younger brother on a swimming trip one day. Bill being the older of the two boys, had been in charge of watching his younger brother, Franklin. Franklin would not listen to his brother and went swimming in the deepest end of the lake. Bill took his eyes off Franklin for only a moment. Franklin's death was especially traumatic to Bill as even his knowing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation did not save his brother's life. No one blamed Bill, but Bill.

Now, let's consider Connie who was supposed to have been watching her baby sister who fell asleep and then never woke up. Her parents were devastated when arriving home they found their baby in the arms of their nine year old. Still, blame was not shown towards Connie in any form. Nor was anger... sadness instead was what was shown and shared as a family unit.

These spectrums are not, in my opinion, so far apart that they are not similar in nature as far as how the trauma affected the person who experienced the event. The similarity really is touching the line at the area of how the event or trauma affected the person who experienced the emotions. Lives can be completely altered by negative circumstances. A healthy person might be more capable of understanding how Bill ended up in a hypochondriac state of mind. Most would not be able to understand how Blame got to the same spot and was even suicidal by the time she was in her twenties.

Connie on the other hand, knew in her heart and mind she had not caused her sister's death. Connie was nine and already had in place a loving belief system. She believed she was a worthy human being. This article is not about how the parents or other relatives did or did not treat each child - so I am not even going to go there for anyone's benefit. That is the work of a psychologist or therapist, and I am neither.

RoseMeade 1990

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