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Message of Hope to Caring Loved Ones - Page 2

© April Scheiner, Author and Researcher

Some of the people surrounding a hypochondriac tend to 'baby' them. They also take on so much at home, that they are bound to have their breaking point. If a hypochondriac uses their being ill to avoid responsibility, then others are sometimes left doing it for them. Hence, you may have someone who does not hurry in getting well; or, you may have someone who seeks more illness in order to have others help them with their own lives. The problem occurs when someone else is being held responsible for the outcome of another's life. If it all falls apart, the one helping may end up being held responsible instead of the one who needs to take care of their own life. Freedom comes in a very strange way through being ill all of the time. For individuals who are well, this does not appear to be 'freedom' in any way whatsoever. Thus, the confusion of why someone would want to stay sick.

If you are the caring person of a hypochondriac, I believe that you may need to realize what your own limits are. Begin by taking the advice of others. Set up some boundaries in order to keep yourself from slipping into more stress than you are dealing with already. This solution begs the question of how to deal with the hypochondriac labeled mentally ill. Be ready to address other issues if the outcome is that they do receive a diagnosis or they do actually have something truly wrong with them physically, emotionally, or even mentally.

Those who are staying stuck in illness need to know that being classified as depressed is not the end of the world. Receiving a diagnosis - being called 'depressed' is obviously not what an individual wants found; but, perhaps, you could supply them with information about depression and then hope that they read it. Leaving pamphlets nearby (in their car or on coffee tables) often works to get their attention. Another idea might be to bring family members who still believe that nothing is wrong into some form of therapy in order to help the ill family member to pursue treatment.

Being told by a family member that something is wrong is often easier said than done. A family member does not want the patient to feel like s/he is blaming them in any way. Unfortunately, that is often how such 'help' ends up being perceived. If not handled tactfully, the person who is always sick, may feel as if their family is shaming them. Shame and blame do not have to go hand in hand. They are often used as tools by the hypochondriac in order to continue being ill. Therefore, stay as clear from blame and shame as you can.

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