"Why, my mother, of course," he exclaimed as if that was normal to call his mother on the telephone in order to get his food. A second later, he dialed his own telephone number and then placed his finger over the ringer so that it would ring. Karen watched as John spoke, "Mamma, today, I want you to fix me two hnm and cheese sandwiches and I want the bread to be thin sliced and toasted lightly. Have it here in ten minutes."
Fifteen minutes later, Mrs. Green tapped lightly on her son's door. "John, here's your lunch."
"Just put it on the dresser, you took so long in getting it here, I'm no longer happy with you. Leave. Karen and I are busy," John rudely ordered his mother. Mrs. Green bowed her head and left her son's room without speaking.
Karen, who had only recently started dating John, witnessed John's ordering of the lunch. With a big smile on her face, she thought, "how cute! I sure do hope that he'll call me some day and order his lunch the same way... from the other room." Only a woman who had seen her family behave worse would have not seen the sad woman leaving dejected and beaten down by her own son's behavior.
John and Karen's third date set the stage for their future together. Not only did John spend the next three years telling his mother what to do; he made certain Karen did as she was told.
Most emotionally healthy people would have witnessed John's using the bedroom telephone to call his mother in the kitchen with a food order, as bossy, strange and even a little weird. However, it is certain that almost all women would have noticed his rudeness in ordering his mother to leave the room.
A woman raised in a happy family would have seen the fact that John had his mother drive him to the 7-11 three times a day, as borderline abusive. Throughout their dating, many 'red flags' surfaced... yet, Karen, who had seen her mother abused most of her entire life, thought of his behavior as 'cute' and almost exciting. Love began brewing that day between Karen and John. Another fire kindled also - one that burned for three years before Karen could bring herself to have the strength to pull away to safety.
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