The Cliff and the Choice
Walking a path there are no signs, no direction. I am alone. I walk through crowds and still the sense that I am somewhere else and cannot fit in as I used to overwhelms me.
I come to a fork in the road. To the left is the unknown road called "What If." To the right the sign says, "Test Ahead." At the end of each road is a cliff.
I walk to the edge of each one. To the one at the left, I ask myself, "What if I test?" "What if I don't?" "What is best?" "What is worse?" "What if I have it?" "What if I don't?" "What are my choices?" "What are the risks, being at risk?"
To the one on the right, I ask myself, "What will I find?" "What will I do?" Positive, negative or the unknown in between. Will I step off the edge and fall from the cliff or will I take off and soar to the heights?
I walk back and forth at the fork in the road, turning back so often I have worn a path of it's own. Sometimes I think I know and I take off in one direction only to stop in my tracks, my resolve in pieces on the ground and my soul weary from the journey.
There are even days when I almost forget and I do not go to the fork in the road. I am alive for now and I am going to live today for all it is worth. I am going to tell someone that I love them, I am going to cherish my family and friends, this day, this job, this house, and all that I have taken for granted. I sort out what matters and I smell the roses along the way. I feel I have aged and at times, I feel like a child - vulnerable.
One day I take off at the fork in the road only I do not stop. I go to the right and the test I take.... realizing that the test began long before this time and place only I did not know it. I begin to walk toward the cliff wondering what lies ahead. It is just me and the Lord and I am trusting completely in Him. I cannot look back and I cannot stop. I am compelled to go on. It is my time. As I get to the edge, I can barely move my feet. My heart is racing. I know I am going to step off.
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