VIII of X: Growing Up A Minority Female in Indonesia
Independence of the Republic of Indonesia, the social system has been divided in such a manner that the notion of separation of the population is highly internalized in the minds of the indigenous. Hatred against the Chinese Indonesians has been planted so deeply and powerfully that to this very day, they are still perceived as 'human shields' and scapegoats. This dragon ethnic are the first to be taken responsible for any misfortune, crisis, or instability experienced by the country.
The 'shielding' and scapegoating of the Chinese have occurred both during the colonization and independent periods. In 1949 and 1960s, the Chinese ethnic was accused as being responsible for the communist doctrines and its publications. It is believed that in 1960s alone, over one million were killed without any fair trial under wrongful accusation by the government and the military for security reasons. Today, this 'status' has graduated to victimization.
In addition to ethnic persecution, the minority religions are also targeted. For their active involvement in political and governmental issues during the first twenty years of President Suharto's governance, the Catholics are more intensely targeted. Since 1945, there have been more than 500 churches destroyed and burnt for religious persecution reasons.
As a child, I naively thought that it was normal to be called with ugly and derogatory names simply for having yellow skin, slanted eyes, and unusual name --sounds like Indonesian but one cannot trace back the ethnic origin I came from. Though I did not realize it until I was old enough to understand the whole picture, now I can recall that I had never passed a day without being called those ugly names whenever I came home from school.
It was comforting, though, I went to private school where the students were mostly of ethnic Chinese and indigenous children from well-educated families. Only inside the classroom I was safe from verbal abuse. Later that I know that those who were less fortunate suffered a lot of verbal and physical abuse for attending public schools. Aware of what I went through on my way back home every day, my parents --mother and grandparents-- taught me a very important survival tool: keep quiet, withdraw, and never look back.
My vow of silence continued to play a major role in my upbringing. As far as I can recall, during the adolescence years, I was sexually harassed at least three to four times. Once by my own
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