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Flirting: Part 1

© Suzanne James

Flirting is an art, a primal instinct. People express their willingness to accept another's advances with their body language. Understanding this will improve a writer's ability to touch the reader's emotions. Not understanding what are normal, instinctive responses to attraction, can put a writer in a difficult place. All writers complain about ambiguous critiques that claim a character's actions are unmotivated. This happens in the romance novel when the writer doesn't take the character's body movements into consideration. Looking at flirting can have a double benefit for romance writers. It can be used to improve the character's motivations, and it can be used as an editing tool to correct relationship problems in the story.

Lets use the example of two characters who meet at a restaurant, both are high powered executives. It is natural, and flirtatious, for them to appear confident and self-assured. But, if they start to argue, the heat is turned off. If the writer has this couple arguing and then has the heroine thinking about how handsome this man is a critique partner may consider her poorly motivated because she sent him a clear 'back off' signal. Her determination to make her point was a clear, she is not interested.

So, what is flirting, and how can a writer use it to subtly 'push the reader's buttons?' To start we need to break the act of flirting into categories.

The first meeting between two people is usually awkward. A woman's signals are subtle. A man's ego is fragile. He would rather she made the first move, but women are turned off by men who stand back and wait. Rightly so, because a man who doesn't have the courage to make the first move is probably not a good provider and nurturer. This man is definitely not hero material. This is what the flirting game is all about, finding a good, responsible mate.

The first indication that a person wants another's attention is their eye contact. Eye contact and a smile will reassure the other person that it is indeed their attention, and not someone else's, that is being sought. Often a woman can set a man at ease by shaking his hand. To men, this is intimate and friendly. If a woman wants to attract a man, but he isn't catching her signals, she can separate herself from her group of friends. This leaves her in a more vulnerable position, which does two things to put a man at ease. The danger of being humiliated in front of her friends is eliminated, and the illusion of separation suggests an element of trust. A writer can do this in the office by having the woman leave a board meeting to retrieve some files and running into the hero. Many writers make the mistake of putting everything in an intimate setting, which is clumsy, and totally not necessary.

The copyright of the article Flirting: Part 1 in Write a Romance Novel is owned by Suzanne James. Permission to republish Flirting: Part 1 in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.