Passive Voice and Passive Writing
May 20, 2003 -
© Suzanne James
'Seeing' the passive writing is a harder than finding passive voice. Go over your work twice. Edit once for passive voice, and then for passive writing. These words signal 'telling,' or using passive writing: had, was, that, saw, thought, heard, felt, etc.. These words tell us something happened. If you wrote in active voice, then your words draw pictures in your mind. Read a sentence, and ask these simple questions. 1. What colors did I see? 2. What objects are in the description of the action? 3. What movements did the character do? Example: Jill saw the accident. 1. Jill didn't see any colors, shapes, or textures. 2. What objects did she see? We don't know if it was a car, truck, or child falling from his bike. 3. Jill didn't look up, turn around, or react to the situation. This brings us to the last element of passive writing, history, or flashbacks. Instructors tell authors to eliminate this, but it is a misunderstood idea. They mean to imply that you must eliminate 'telling' the character's past as narration. The backstory must explain the character's immediate reaction, or action. If it doesn't, then it is passive writing. Backstory will create the illusion of passive writing. It will slow the story's pacing, unless it is building tension, and setting up the scene. If you have a problem with passive writing, or passive voice, then follow these steps when editing. First, circle all the passive words, and 'to be' verbs. Second, in a differt color, circle the subject of each sentence. Now sit back and look at these. If most of the sentences don't fit the definition of active voice then rewrite, correcting the problem. Third, eliminate all the passive words, and 'to be' verbs, which don't establish a time line. Last, make sure each paragraph answers the three questions above. You can't remove them all, but you should never see them in an action, or dialogue sentence. Except when used in the context mentioned in this article. If you can read a paragraph, and draw a picture of it, then you are writing actively. There is another step, before you can consider your work well written. Read it out loud. Do the words flow off the tongue without a hitch? If not, change words, or reorganize paragraphs until the story flows. When finished, you've solved the problem of passive voice in your writing.
The copyright of the article Passive Voice and Passive Writing in Write a Romance Novel is owned by Suzanne James. Permission to republish Passive Voice and Passive Writing in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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