9/11 10/11 11/11 or My Personal House in Chaos

Today is October 11, 2001. One month ago the world watched in horror as fuel laden passenger planes crashed into the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and the Pennsylvania countryside.

One month from now, November 11, Veterans Day, my son turns 18. On a day that honors the Veterans of Foreign Wars my son must sign up for the draft. Until one month ago the young men in my sons grade gave little thought to getting their draft card. It was just something you had to do but it didn't really mean anything.

Suddenly all of that has changed. No, the draft has not been reinstated, but we all know it could be. I am old enough to remember Vietnam. My classmates were the ones being drafted then. I quake inside every time I think of the possibility of my son going to war.

Sunday, October 7, America launched its first strikes against terrorist strongholds in Afghanistan. I had spent my morning doing a lay speaker sermon for my church. Some of the day's lessons had to do with questions of injustice. We live in a society where we are free to ask those questions and God tells us He will answer them in His appointed time. His answer to us may be to, "Wait."

In Psalm 37 he tells us the wicked will fade and wither. We are admonished to not fret - it leads only to evil. "The righteous are to be concerned with their own behavior, not with the behavior of the wicked. They are to refrain from anger and forsake wrath."

I came home from church and found that we had begun our attack. The waiting is over. My thoughts and convictions are in chaos. I know acts such as those on September 11 cannot be let go with no response. I know if the perpetrator is not stopped there will be more terrorist attacks.

But I am a mother! I fear for my son and all the sons and daughters who will become involved in a war against a group that does not fear its own death. This child grew within me. I have cared for and nurtured him for 18 years. I want to send him off to college or a job, not to war.

So on this day, halfway between the attacks of 9-11 and his 18th birthday on 11-11, I am in confusion and there is chaos within. There are no easy answers. There never have been. Mothers never want war no matter how inevitable it is.

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