There is the husband who takes care of a wife who no longer recognizes him. The dutiful mother who watches her child slipping away. It is the friend who helps with letter writing and other chores in the patient's household.
These people and so many others are the ones who, day in and day out, care for the dying patient. These are the ones who, out of duty, honor and/or love take care of the daily needs of the dying.
The caregiver coordinates the life of the patient by organizing medical services, bill payment, hand holding and a myriad of other services, large and small. I have seen caregivers change diapers, bathe shrunken bodies and sit for hours with uncommunicative husbands, cousins, aunts and friends.
Often the caregiver suffers from fatigue and depression, and may not even know it. Hospice can fill a niche here by offering respite care to the caregiver. Caregivers often do not take a break and the reasons are valid to them. Some feel that "something" will happen while they are gone or they feel guilty in "surrendering" care to another person, even for a little while. Some feel that to introduce a virtual stranger into the home is too much of a compromise.
It may sometimes take a lot of convincing to encourage the caregiver to take a walk, or go to a movie or just get out of the house and away from the sick room.
The caregiver provides continuity to the patient which perhaps can't be exactly duplicated by someone else. However the benefit of respite care is to offer an opportunity for renewal, reflection and relaxation to the caregiver.
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