Directed by Jay Woelfel
Written by Scott Spears
Cast Richard Hatch Tim Thomerson Cindi Braun Frank Ruotolo Jere Jon Cindy Pena Robbie Rist
R 90 min
Unseen Evil, or, The Biggest Bastardization of Native American Culture Since Chief Lucky Strike, provides us with not only a Yuma Indian creation story, but also with the sad, sad consequences of their story being accurate.
Apparently, as the Yuma Indians tell it, four eagles created the planet: the black one, the brown one, the white one, and the UNSEEN one (the movie provides UNSEEN in all caps, so don't blame me). This begs the question, if there were four eagles, and one of them has never been seen by man (another verbatim quote from the script), how do they know there were four of them to begin with?
Freaky, huh?
Anyway, we rejoin our craptacular in the making with a pair of college students (those darn college kids again! aren't they just the wackiest?) and their terribly ambitious professor, along with a handful of minor-league mercenaries. They're off in search of a Historical Find, a burial mound. Which is, coincidentally, the exact same mound we just saw earlier in the film, containing the nasty, bloodthirsty, evil UNSEEN. At least, that's what I'd guess it is. This particular burial mound may, apparently, provide proof that other explorers had been visiting North America well before Christopher Columbus and Amerigo Vespucci and their ilk had arrived.
Then the movie turns into a morality play as the two coeds decide they don't LIKE the thought of having the relics of long-dead Indian civilizations sold on the black market, and thus grow VERY UPSET with the professor, who responds in the terribly mature manner of directing his hired thugs to hold guns on them while tying their wrists together.
The burial mound is, indeed, stuffed to the gills with artifacts and assorted barterables, which the professor and his coterie of hired thugs grab up and stuff gleefully into gunny sacks. Other things, much less identifiable corpses of what can only be called things, are also in the burial mound. Of course, the professor and company don't seem to care much about these corpses, while the coeds are too busy screaming about unethical behavior and the evils of greed to anyone who'll listen.
Which is to say, nobody.
The predictable comes to pass--the UNSEEN and its formerly corpsed-up minions try to do the two typical things of protectors of haunted burial mounds:
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