Deadly Species--Deadly Dull

Writing credits Rory Penland Bill Suchy

Pete Penuel .... Dr. Brinson Thomas Allison Adams .... Marta Thomas Brian Minyard .... Wilson Friels Britt George .... Laird Kleeger Jenny Coyle .... Jessica Samaral Ibanez David Midthunder Heather Petrone .... Lori

R 90min

Ah, here we go again...here comes another heaping steaming dose of tripe that'll make you hate Artisan Home Entertainment, and shaking your head in scornful wonderment that this bunch of no - names is so desperate for work that they're prepared to act in this pile of straight to video dung, thus destroying their careers before they even get started.

We start out with a couple who looks like they've gone ten rounds with either a quisinart or several angry IRS agents rushing back to their now - empty camp in the middle of the jungle. As is the standard for things like this, they're the ONLY ones surprised that the camp is empty. Most of the audience kind of figured it would be when they saw there was even a camp in the first place. A matter of seconds later, they're completely killed by whatever it was that did the wounding.

Since I saw neither electrical cables or briefcases and cheap suits, I'm forced to assume that it was neither a quisinart nor the IRS.

Which is kind of sad because I'd LOVE to see a horror movie involving quisinarts or the IRS. I think it'd be a real step up from SOME of the tripe we get on the video store shelves these days.

But then a new character steps in who may well INTEREST the IRS...a fellow named Wilson Friels is prepared to fund a college professor's expedition to go hunting after indians.

Which by now should have every single hackle in the audience raised high enough to hang a flag from. Anyone who hasn't figured out that there's a link between the jungle we just saw and our boy Wilson should now eject their DVD, use it as a coaster, and re-enroll in the third grade.

But our professor hasn't quite caught on yet, and packs up his partner and a handful of coeds to ship off to the jungle to go hunting up an elusive indian tribe called the Calusa. Which are, apparently, on a deserted island in the middle of a swamp accessible only by airboat.

Which means they're going to have a serious problem when people start dying and they can't get off the island. This is the kind of thing Gilligan had nightmares about.

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