Wishmaster: The Prophecy Fulfilled--Thankfully.

Directed by Chris Angel

Written by Peter Atkins John Benjamin Martin

Cast John Novak .... Djinn Tara Spencer-Nairn .... Lisa Burnley Michael Trucco .... Steven Verdel Jason Thompson .... Sam Victor Webster .... Hunter John Benjamin Martin .... Douglas Hollister Kimberly Huie .... Tracy Mariam Bernstein .... Jennifer

Well, here we go, folks...this is the end. The only end, my friend, and Artisan is taking us along for this particular apocalyptic ride.

And I'll tell you this much--you will never, NEVER, be so glad to see a quadrilogy end.

Okay, so what we've got here is the story of Djinn. Not genie, either. But DJINN. I know, I know--nitpick much? But still. Apparently we got part of the mythos right: anyone who manages to wake a Djinn gets three wishes.

And this is, actually, a BAD THING.

What? You cry in mystified alarm. How could such a thing be?

Well, first off, these Djinn don't actually LIKE humans very much. Some ancient grudge or somesuch that I recall as actually being explained in prior titles, so you'll have to go there if you're truly desperate to learn just why anything so ugly could have a problem with US.

And, should anyone actually manage to get wish number three over the plate and socked out of the equally proverbial ball park, all hell breaks loose.

Not precisely--"the unholy legions of the Djinn" will break loose and be set on the earth. And this is, of course, a Really Bad Thing.

And who's going to wake up our unholy legions? Why, the overly cutesy couple who just moved into a big run-down house labeled "fixer-upper" right on the bloody damn REALTY SIGN. Oh, and the previous occupants kindly left a bed upstairs so the overly cutesy couple could launch into a sex scene not three minutes into the movie.

You know, there's pandering, and then there's Pandering. This qualifies as PANDERING.

And then, in a real twist, the male half of our smarmy couple gets in a wreck on his motorcycle, leaving him paralyzed from the waist down, a shattered, bitter, alcohol-chugging wreckage of a human being. The female half gets her hands on a terribly familiar (if you've seen the rest of the movies) fire opal. From there, our terribly familiar Djinn friend shows up and sets out to get three wishes out of the female half of the smarmy couple so that he can...

...RAISE AN UNHOLY LEGION OF DJINN.

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