Infested: Wishing for Cinematic Raid

Zach Galligan .... Warren Lisa Ann Hadley .... Ellen Daniel Jenkins .... Steven Amy Jo Johnson .... Jesse Nahanni Johnstone .... Mindy Robert Duncan McNeill .... Eric Jack Mulcahy .... Bob David Packer .... Elliot Camilla Overbye Roos .... Robin Tuc Watkins .... Carl Mark Margolis .... Father Morning

R 84 mins

Most video fans are away that the stuff released straight to video is usually sub-par. Production budgets are low, scripts are second-rate, acting is more wooden than a lumberyard...you know the story.

Infested raises the bar for sheer awful by being a straight to video release from a MAJOR STUDIO. That's right, this particular piece of awful is brought to you by the, and I hesitate to say good, people at Columbia Tristar.

We start this cinematic train wreck with a funeral. Great place to start, that. We also get a little high school reunion in the making, as the deceased's, a fellow named Steven's, friends have some conversations amongst themselves. And these people are really deep, too. There's an actor, and several businessmen, and assorted wives, all talking about themselves. If these people were any more shallow they'd be grasslands.

Next, we get graveside services delivered by a priest so new-age he makes Shirley MacClain look like Cotton Mather.

Then the shallow ones begin questioning themselves, wondering if they've sold out their youthful ideals for the sake of profit. But this doesn't last any too long before they engage in discussion that brings things right back up to the level of shallowness that we've come to expect from this group of truly pointless yuppies for lack of a better word. Yoga, feng shui, and the CIA dealing crack. This is the body of their discussion. And then someone fires up the music of their youth on the ORIGINAL VINYL no less and that takes care of the next five, ten minutes.

Am I alone in thinking most people will be glad to see the bugs come and eat these people just so we can get some debris out of the gene pool?

And then, finally, the bugs make their first appearance, biting one character's neck. I know, innocent enough, and the bug is smashed on contact, but then the bite victim throws the corpse on the ground.

And it bursts into flame.

How many bugs you ever see burst into flame when smashed? You can tell, these particular little pests are pests of a different breed.

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