Greenskeeper: A Double Bogey

Directed by Kevin Greene Adam Johnson

Writing credits Kevin Greene Alex Weir

Allelon Ruggiero .... Allen Anderson John Rocker .... The Greenskeeper/George Anderson Christi Taylor .... Mary Jane Steve Rickman .... Chas Ron Lester .... Styles Thomas Merdis .... Otis Washington Bruce Taylor .... John Anderson Allison Kulp .... Mary Katherine Melissa Ponzio .... Elena Rodriguez Jamie Renell .... Champ Michael Short .... Chet Stephanie Bingham .... Mary Beth Alfea Thomas .... Mrs. Anderson Kevin Greene .... Chip Patrick Donovan .... Stu

Ever seen a movie that relishes being awful?

That knows it's low-budget and poorly made, so it compensates?

Usually when it compensates, it has one of a handful of means to do so.

1. Extreme amounts of gore / blood

2. Half-naked and / or naked chicks

3. Bizarre killing methods

Greenskeeper uses all of these. See if you can spot them at home!

Our hero starts off his morning with a series of dreams about his job as greenskeeper at a local golf course. It's not much of a job, but his high-society girlfriend just can't seem to live with it. And therefore, she dumps him. On his birthday. Which earns her serious bitch points.

But while Alan, the greenskeeper, isn't doing so well on this, his BIRTHDAY, there's a big event going on. That night, on cable, will be premiering a horror movie that everyone's been looking forward to.

The Milkman.

No, you are NOT hallucinating. You just heard me say that a good chunk of this B-grade horror movie will be devoted to the watching of ANOTHER B-grade horror movie. It's twice the stink for your money!

And don't say Hollywood never gave you anything.

The movie takes a ninety degree turn downward when the rich kids decide they're going to have a party. Why, they even have plenty of "booze and crack!" Boy, what else do you need? But they have a problem. No place to hold the party! Hey...wait a minute...that rich girl, Mary Catherine's, boyfriend--you know, the callow one whose birthday it is today--he's the greenskeeper! They can get HIM to let them have a party after everyone else goes home! Yeah!

And for those of you who don't see trouble coming from a mile away, get a helmet. You're going to need it.

So the movie carries on with demonizing the rich and discussion of how PBS furthers the gay agenda. And no, not the Teletubbies...Sesame Street. Apparently old Mr. Snuffleupgus is a big concern....

But it doesn't take long for a gruesome murder to take place, which the country club's owner, Alan's stepdad, wants kept very quiet.

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