Freddy Vs. Jason: The Smackdown Concludes--Part Two of Two.

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To continue last week's article:

The teenagers whom Jason had been stalking in order to make Freddy's comeback tour a grim reality, however, have begun to figure that the devil they know is better than the dream demon they don'tand are thus setting up circumstances to pull Freddy out of his dream world and into the REAL one, where Jason can take a solid whack at him. And indeed, it does work. Freddy is now a fixture of the real world, and Jason is none too happy about the last twenty-odd minutes in which he took a greater beating than an Enron 401k plan.

Thus, the drunken dorm room dream of every vaguely geeky college student since the eighties comes to pass:

Freddy. Versus. Jason.

And what a brawl it is. Jason lifts Freddy bodily and runs him through a wall. Horizontally. Freddy slices through windows, siding, studs, and wallboard like a diamond carbide-tipped chainsaw running at two million RPM. This of course should have torn the flesh-and-bone Freddy to bloody hunks. But Freddy has apparently been doing Tae-Bo during his stay in Ronny Yu's inky black version of hell-he probably had a lot of time on his hands when he wasn't ranting about how everyone had forgotten him, and there's plenty of room for all the kicks and such-and is fighting back against Jason with a style and sheer verve that would make Jackie Chan wince in jealousy.

Somehow Freddy is now a master of martial arts with a genius-level IQ that allows him to make all sorts of fancy strategic plans including using construction equipment to his best possible advantage.

But what Freddy had not counted on-and that every Jason fan knew was coming-was that Jason was just as strong, if not even MORE so, in the REAL world as he was in Freddy's little nightmare country.

Jason takes a beating that's even more preposterous in the real world than in the dream world. He has heavy things dropped on him. Canisters of pressurized oxygen, when full weighing probably a couple hundred pounds, are launched at him. A stack of rebar is dropped on him from a height of three stories.

This is the most impressive of all, folks. Rebar, for those of you who aren't commercial contractors or haven't had a basement built recently, is the collective term for long rods of typically iron or steel that are inserted into a concrete mold to lend it extra strength and resiliency. They're typically about nine feet long and are cylindrical in shape. So basically Jason has a stack of solid metal blunted spears dropped onto him. Many actually penetrate Jason's limbs.

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