What Was I Thinking?

As a mother I have days where I have to stop and ask myself "What was I thinking when I had kids?" I had all these lovely dreams and sweet images in my mind. After they were born and I decided to do the preschool teaching at home, on some days, I swear my brain went out with the dishwater.

There are days that no matter how well I plan it, no matter what preparations I make I still end up throwing up my hands in surrender and asking myself "girl, what were you thinking?" Then there is the other side of that coin. There are days when even though I had a plan I woke up and decided to chuck the plan, play it by ear and enjoy the children. (I probably shouldn't say this, but those are usually the best days!)

As some of you may have noticed I missed an article in December. Out of character for me but necessary. I became sick in November and by the start of December I was knocked out cold on heavy duty pain killers and preparing for a major oral surgery. (Ok the family was planning, I was sleeping.)

All the plans I had for teaching my little boy about Christmas and having him help bake colored cookies in different shapes was gone in a pill. I tried to tell my husband but who would listen to a woman who probably wasn't sure of her own name at that point? It was one of those moments when the brain becomes fuzzy and you ask yourself "what were you thinking?" while scratching your head in a dazed confusion.

In the end everything worked out. My husband and little boy spent some amazing time together. They journeyed to another city about two hours away so that they could "do a job". They fixed the clients' ATM, they went out to lunch and my little boy got to meet lots of new people. It was an amazing experience for both of them.

The inspiring part for me was hearing my husband marvel at how surprised he was at his three year olds capabilities. He was so surprised at how helpful he was by handing him tools and the questions he asked. The sweet angel was even telling him when he was supposed to stop and go by the color of the lights. It had been such a long time since just the two of them had really been able to spend one on one quality time together. That happens with a family the size of ours and only one parent working to bring in the bacon.

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