Teaching Communication Skills
"What do I need communication skills for? I know how to talk, don't I?" This was the general consensus of my children, when I proposed teaching them communication skills. However, the need for effective communication is especially necessary in these computer-driven, sound-byte filled days.
We all can use effective communication skills, and giving our children a head start in this arena is one of the many kindnesses, not to mention neccessities we need to arm our children with. One of the hallmarks of a well-socialized child is the child's ability to effectively communicate with people their own age as well as people older than they. The ability to effectively communicate helps boost a child's confidence immensely. It is as important as being able to do long division, or to spell well, or to read.
One of the books I've used for my older children is Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People. This is an excellent primer on interpersonal communications. It employs those skills which make a person an effective communicator-speaking clearly, speaking kindly, etc. It has been an excellent course for our sons.
Another book I've used is "How to Speak to Practically Anyone About Anything." This book emphasizes good listening skills, which is one of the most effective ways to communicate to others that you feel their opinions and feelings are valid and useful.
One of my favorite books is "How to Hug a Porcupine", which is a book about communicating and getting along with those people who are a bit more difficult to get along with. It is available online from a homeschooling family's outlet. They are at http://www.loveathome.com . As we all know, communicating and keeping our "cool" with those whom we have shaky relationships is one of the most difficult tasks in the world, but this book will really help with those situations.
One of the more effective tools for learning how to speak effectively is by simply having dinner around the table every night, with the children being encouraged to speak, with no one putting them down for their opinions. It is in this environment that children learn to speak as well as to listen, with love.
When the boys were small, we would tell them a story, such as a story about a dog. We would give one of the boys a bell, and every time we read the word "dog" they were to ring the bell. This is a highly effective means of getting them to listen, and it is one of the oldest games in the book. We taught them how to take a phone message, and how to dial 911 or Grandma's, whichever they thought was most effective in their particular emergency.
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