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Another One of "Our Boys" is Gone

© Joan Archer

Before I proceed, I would like to dedicate this article to my neighbor lady, whose son Jonathon left for school one morning and did not come home that afternoon. And to all those moms and dads who have experienced the same thing. Let it all mean something to the rest of us.

Last summer, while searching for a topic to cover for Health (a requirement for homeschool in Nebraska) I came across the subject of Anger. It didn't seem like a real "Health" topic, but I settled on it anyway. I sent in my forms and it was accepted as a health topic.

I admit, I was in part motivated by the Columbine incident, and also by the fact that I happen to have three large boys going through the angst of adolescence as you read this. I suppose it is as difficult to go through it as it is to have to live with people going through it, but it hardly seems likely at this point. I suppose it is even tougher for our teeny little seventy year old house to have to deal with it. We have patched holes in walls, boys, furniture and our hearts with some regularity. We have also repaired holes in their father's apartment walls, when a discussion related to time on the computer turned into a "wall to wall discussion". We have tossed boys out of the front door who were so embroiled in one of their "discussions" that we could not tell whose legs and arms were whose. We have had trips to emergency rooms, and to "time out" chairs. We have dropped boys off at Grandma's, several Aunties', Uncles' and at their birth father's house in order to maintain our sanity. "Take it outside!" in our house rarely refers to the garbage. Long story short, maybe a short study of Anger Management was in order.

Information related to Anger on the Internet written for children is woefully lacking. Unless you get into Violence, there is little information regarding just plain Anger. For our studies, we use a small handbook called Straight Talk About Anger by Christine Dentemaro and Rachel Kranz. This little handbook is designed for young teens, and does not include any of that horrible "Hep Cat" language used by some books. This means that nowhere in the book does it use the phrase "Chillin' Out" or any such phrase which teens might say, but when it appears in print automatically conjures up pictures of your great-grandma saying "Groovy". When authors try to appear "cool" in print, you just know they have a closet full of plaid polyester golf pants. Which they wear regularly. I believe you get the picture. Anyway, this book takes a no-nonsense, human-without-being-insipid look at the causes, uses for, reactions to and dealing with, Anger. My sons started out this book saying, "Oh, Mom, not the Freud stuff again!" because I have had training in Social Work and Psychology. You just know they're sick of hearing ANYTHING relating to psychology. Today, we worked on Chapter Two of the book for THREE HOURS. We read it last week, and today was the discussion, and believe me, kids are interested in this topic. Their being rather self-centered at this age is a boon to this study, because they are motivated to examine their own ideas and feelings.

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