Domestic Abuse Leads to Homelessness

Why do women put up with an abusive husband? One of the main reasons is lack of financial resources to leave the marriage. You see men who control their wives also control the checkbook. Some men put their wives on a budget and then even ask for an accounting of the budget money.

The statistics tell the story. 92% of homesless women came from abusive homes. 60% of homeless women have been abused since teen years. No wonder they often have a low self-esteem.

My friend, who I'll call Star, lived in an abusive relationship for 17 years. We urged her to get out. We offered our home as other friends offered their homes as temporary shelter. Star worked full time but her husband demanded all funds be put into their joint checkbook which he controlled. He beat her, verbally assaulted her, and sexually also. The final straw was when he brought his girl friend home to stay with them. Finally, Star left with basically one suitcase she packed while he was at work, and her last paycheck.

After staying at various friend's home, Star was lucky enough to get help from her family and her employer who advanced her the money for rent. If a woman has no support system she may find herself in an impossible situation. This why it is so important to have shelters exclusively for battered women. Unfortunately, there are so many battered women in America, the shelters can't house them all. And those they do house are allowed to stay only a limited time.

"Requests for emergency shelter by homeless families with children increased in 68% of US cities surveyed in 1999.7 "

In Connecticut, the Prudence Crandall shelter can only help a limited number of women at a time. If these women go to their parent's homes, as my other friend, who I'll call Daisy, did, their spouses can easily find them. Daisy's drunken, abusive husband came to his mother-in-law's home with a large knife and threatened the whole family. It didn't matter to him that his two children were inside and witnessed the threat. The police were called and he was taken away. Daisy got a restraining order, but her bum of a husband was out of jail the very next day. So much for police protection! She had to move further away and stay with her brother awhile.This uprooted her children from school and their friends as well as the neighborhood where Daisy grew up.

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