Home » » Holistic Therapy » Hypnotherapy and Our Self-Esteem

Hypnotherapy and Our Self-Esteem

© T. Darlene Cheek

Why can't we succeed? What exactly is holding us back from reaching our goals? What makes us grasp onto our habits and phobias and not want to let them go? The Self-Esteem.

I can't count how many times I've heard "I just can't do it by myself," or "I'm just not strong enough." In most cases, that same client has the intelligence, willpower and strength to do by themselves what they are asking the hypnotherapist to do for them. The thing holding them back is simply the way they feel about themselves, their self-confidence or self-esteem.

Let's take a step or two back and ask what happened to damage that client's self-esteem. Let's say we have a fictitious client we'll call "Jamie." We'll picture Jamie around two years old. Little Jamie is pulling on her mother's leg, and mother is saying "Go away, I'm doing something important right now." (Message #1: You, Jamie, are not important.) Jamie is now about four years old... the messages are making their own place in her mind... she breaks a vase... mother screams at her... tells her she is stupid and clumsy (Messages #2 & #3).

Jamie is in first grade. The boys taunt and tease (as all children do). They tell Jamie she is ugly and they don't like her (Messages #4 and #5). Now imagine for a moment that you see Jamie growing up (remember yourself as a teenager). Think about all the messages we all receive throughout our life; not only messages we hear from others, but ones we bring to ourselves along the way. Every struggle, every step we take, every person we meet, every day of our lives, we create messages.

It takes 10 positive messages to "over-ride" 1 negative message in our mind. So, now Jamie is 35 years old. She is unable to complete anything she starts, has a severe lack of motivation, and she is depressed a lot of the time. Jamie is 35 lbs. over-weight and decides to seek the help of a hypnotherapist to help her lose the weight "since she can't do it herself."

During the client interview, the hypnotist realizes (as usually is the case) that Jamie's problem is not that she overeats, it is her self-esteem. Jamie feels terrible about herself, and whenever she has to confront a difficult situation, the old messages start to play in her mind... you're not important... you're stupid... you're ugly... you can't do anything... and on and on it goes.

The copyright of the article Hypnotherapy and Our Self-Esteem in Holistic Therapy is owned by T. Darlene Cheek. Permission to republish Hypnotherapy and Our Self-Esteem in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.