Feelings
I honestly don't expect my analysis to change anybody's mind. The grief some fans are experiencing at the end of this series is profound, and no amount of debate or discussion will salve the honest pain they feel. It is not my intention to make light of these feelings, nor to tell these people (as some have) to "get a life, it's only a TV show." Anybody who recognizes the effect Xena has had on its fans (and on popular culture) should know that some things go far beyond a mere television show.
Despite this realization on my part, and with the saga finally concluded, I would like to put forward an interpretation that may come across as a little bit... revolutionary.
The series opens with Xena burying her armor, trying to turn away from the warrior path she had followed for so long. When she encounters the band of slavers and rescues Gabrielle and the other villagers, she rescues them. Why? I don't think it is difficult for anybody to see guilt as the primary motivating factor. Xena sought to atone for her past misdeeds.
That's an important word - atone. It comes from the Middle English atonen, "to be reconciled". It derives from the compound "at one". Xena was a hero torn between her dark past, and her heroic present. Her quest - the central narrative of the series - was to reconcile those two elements.
As we saw in the episode, Forgiven, Xena was not able to forgive herself. She still felt a great deal of personal responsibility for the evil in the world - despite the tremendous good she had caused. When "brought to justice" for her crimes (as seen in The Reckoning and Locked Up and Tied Down), she did not fight the system, believing that what happened to her was no less than she deserved.
While thinking about all these things, a thought struck me. The love and forgiveness message was not solely intended for others. It was certainly an important aspect of the show's morality, but the one who most needed to learn the lesson was Xena herself.
I think that Xena chose to stay dead because she realized that she had achieved her objective - she had redeemed herself. Symbolically, coming back from the dead would deny her of the forgiveness she had finally given herself. To take up the sword again would say that she had still not done
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