Hey! That's What I Call Sludge - 1

Out of the dozens of CDs sent to me every day by various record companies and publicists, why would I choose to write a review of a CD released by a competing web site? Well, they sent it to me for free. Free is always good, plus it isn't stamped "promo" like so many of the CDs I receive. That means I could auction that bad boy off on Ebay if I so desired or take it down to the pawn shop for some beer money. More importantly, if I write a review, maybe Metal Sludge will link to it and hits to this site will skyrocket, making me the most well-known and beloved metal writer in the universe. Maybe I'll even get my own column on Metal Sludge.

The other reason I decided to review this CD is that I'm a Sludgeaholic, and have been since 1999. If you're not familiar with Metal Sludge, it is one of the best metal web sites in existence. It would be easier to put a link here so you can click on it and check for yourself, but I have a minimum word count I need to hit for this article, so that won't happen.

The site is about heavy metal, focusing mainly on the hair bands we know and love from the 80's and 90's and what they're up to these days. The people behind Metal Sludge use pseudonyms like Jani Bon Neil, Bastard Boy Floyd and Ozzy Stillbourne and thus are able to write without fear of repercussion and/or bodily harm. Who is behind the site? Most people agree at least some of them are musicians in the genre, and people like Jizzy Pearl and Rikki Rockett have been rumored to be part of it. Their writing has appeared on the site, but under their own names, so I'm not so sure they are the masterminds.

The writing on Metal Sludge is funny, to the point, and can be pretty brutal. But it's almost always true, and the truth hurts (just ask Sebastian Bach). There are also interviews with musicians, producers and even a porn star or two. The questions aren't your usual fluff, and it takes cojones to answer the questions honestly. Some great feuds have been started and continued through interviews and emails posted on the site. Perhaps the most publicized part of Metal Sludge is Donna Anderson's penis chart, where the manhood (or lack thereof) of over 200 rock stars is revealed and evaluated.

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