This leads us to a discussion of another important part of habit reversal, perhaps the central component. Therapists refer to it as a competing response. This is a behavior you will substitute for your habit. It needs to be incompatible with your habit, something you can't do while engaging in your habit. For example, if you press your thumb and forefinger together, you can't bite your nails, twirl your hair, or pick at your skin.
The behavior needs to be something you can do for as long as the urge to engage in your habit lasts. It also needs to be something that will be convenient, something you can do in public without being noticed. If your habit is a behavior that you often engage in while participating in other activities, your competing response will need to be something that will not interfere with these other activities. For example, people who bite their nails often do so while watching TV, reading, or working on paperwork.
Your competing response will not only help you keep from engaging in your habit; it will also help you become more aware of what you are doing - and what you are not doing. When our example guy is pressing his thumb and finger together, he will be reminded that he is not biting his nails. The idea of not biting his nails and the idea of being successful at his quest is reinforced each time he engages in his competing response. Habits are often almost automatic. We do them without thinking about what we are doing. This added awareness helps the behavior become less automatic.
List several behaviors that could be a competing response for your habit. Brainstorm, listing all the behaviors that come to mind. When you can't think of another potential competing response, stop and examine your list. Pick out the ones that meet the criteria we set forth above. The behavior must be a behavior that:
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