School Phobia: Nothing to Take Lightly

4. Who else can I talk to? Ask to talk to the school psychologist or school counselor and thoroughly discuss your grandchild's problem.

Getting Your Grandchild Back in School

Most experts agree that the parents' first priority is to get their child through the school doors. But the strong grip that fear has on school phobic children often eliminates the chance of full-time attendance, and threats to force his return to class don't work either.

That is why behavioral psychologists John and Helen Krumboltz suggest that parents use the "fear reduction principle" to help their kids conquer school phobia. The principle is this: "To help children overcome their fears of a particular situation, gradually increase their exposure to the feared situation while they are otherwise comfortable, relaxed, secure or rewarded."

One school counselor who used this principle helped a terrified 12-year-old girl master her fear of junior high school classes. She had transferred from a small elementary school and missed her friends and the close-knit atmosphere. Shortly after school opened in September she began cutting classes.

Her parents and the school counselor worked out a program to reduce her fear and improve her attendance. First, if she became anxious, she could go to the counselor's office and call her mom and dad. Next, the counselor asked her teachers to sign a memo that she had attended their classes. After each class she returned to the counselor's office and the counselor walked her to her next class.

Finally, at the end of the day she checked in with the counselor to talk about her progress and plan the next day. In a short time she had conquered her fear and was making new friends.

There are no easy answers to school phobia, and sometimes a child's phobia seems permanent. Recognizing the problem is the first step in diminishing the fear. Then, you can make a concrete plan that focuses on decreasing fear while improving school attendance.

Although living with school-phobic children is a challenge, most kids eventually out-grow or learn to handle their fears. Facing school fear head-on will result in better adjusted children who, as adults, will possess the inner resources to face tough circumstances with confidence.

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