Values vs. Rules: A quiz

How can grandparents who parent their grandchildren be reasonably certain their grandchildren will make the right moral choices? In the last article I suggested ways to develop a workable moral code, and how to instill in your grandchildren the moral strength to do what they know is right.

So far so good, but how do you respond when your grandchild challenges family rules or family values? The following quiz will ask you to make some true to life decisions involving rules and values. Read each scenario and choose the best response.

1. Alice is glued to the TV. In spite of your rule forbidding TV before her homework is finished, she isn't moving. What do you do?
a. Turn off the TV and escort her to her work place.
b. Do nothing. Homework is her problem.
c. Threaten to restrict her for two weeks.

The best answer is a. Threats don't work. If you do nothing, Alice may continue to ignore you. Turnoff the TV, and check to see if she has her books and materials. The rest is up to Alice.

2. Your grandson, Jack, is suspended from high school. The school counselor said Jack dipped a classmate's hat in the toilet, poured water on the boy's head and punched him out. You don't believe the counselor. You should:
a. Ignore the incident.
b. Talk to Jack and get his side of the story.
c.Call a school board member and complain about the poor teaching, counseling and discipline at the school.

The correct answer is b. Talk to Jack and get his side of the story. Don't make accusations until you have the facts straight.

3. Thirteen-year-old Jennifer doesn't like to shower. Each day she exits the bathroom combing her damp hair, leaving a pile of clothes and a soggy towel in a puddle on the floor. Suspicious, you find her reading a novel while the empty shower sprays hot water. Your reaction is to:
a. Blow up when she says, "I use deodorant, I don't need to shower every day."
b. Say: "You shower because I tell you to shower."
c. Talk to her about trust and truthfulness.

Was your answer b? this is a clear case of breaking a family rule. Also, talk to Jennifer about trust and truthfulness, two important values. It's OK to show your anger.

4. It is Sunday morning and Alexis is arguing about going to Sunday School and church. "I don't believe that stuff anymore, and I'm not going," she says. Her behavior is new and baffling. You should:

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