Slow Play on the Course

Everyone who has teed up a golf ball has experienced slow play at one time or another and the exasperation of not being able to do anything, because the course is packed with golfers and everyone is moving along but not as fast as you would like. If it is only the group in front of you that is slow you can, of course, ask to play through. Etiquette says they should recognize they are playing slow and allow you the opportunity to play through them, but what if they feel they are not playing slow as this is the rate at which they always play? Simple, skip that hole and jump ahead of them by one hole. You can always come back and play the hole you skipped.

I generally hate to ask to play through because, in asking, I am implying that I am a much better golfer therefore I should be permitted to continue on with my perfect game. This is my mindset and everyone will not agree with me, and to them I say "Write your own column." However, if I do find myself waiting on the tee or in mid-fairway, I will ask for the privilege - knowing full well that I will probably duff the ball because the played-through foursome is watching. I call this the "Why did we let this duffer play through?" effect.

This is a corollary to the well known Watcher's Theorem, "The distance hit will decrease proportionally and/or the amount of slice or hook will increase proportionally with the number of golfers (not in your group) waiting to tee up behind you."

Every golfer knows there will be a delay on a par three and accept this as fact. What many don't realize is that the Watcher's Theorem is lurking. If you are still waiting to hit when the group behind you comes up to the tee, you will increase the wait time for all future groups by losing your ball in the woods, or hitting into adjacent fairways where you have to wait for others to hit before you can enter that fairway. God forbid there would be water on this par three. I have put three in the water on a 120 yard hole all because of the Watcher's Theorem. Thankfully I was able to one-putt for an eight and continue on with my game, but face facts, an eight is hard to overcome especially when you are trying to establish your handicap!

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