Disability Etiquette

If you've read my columns the past two months, you know I've been laid up since early May with a broken ankle. I'm out of the cast and off the crutches now, but I still walk with an odd sideways gait and a cane. It's been eye-opening for me and I want to share both the good and bad experiences.

While the idea of this column played in my head, I received an unsolicited pamphlet in the mail from the Eastern Paralyzed Veterans Association entitled Disability Etiquette. It includes tips on interacting with people with disabilities and I'll share them here:

• Ask before you help. Don't assume that all disabled people need help. The ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) has gone a long way to make public areas more accessible and less assistance is required today than in the past.
• Be sensitive about physical contact. Many disabled people use their arms for balance and grabbing them could cause them to falter or fall. Also, refrain from touching wheelchairs, scooters, canes, etc., as people who are disabled view these objects as extensions of themselves.
• Think before you speak. Address the person with the disability, not a companion. Talk to them as you would anyone but also respect their privacy.
  
  

  And please remember, not all long term disabilities are obvious. People who suffer from emphysema, post polio distress, MS and other ailments may appear in the best of health to the casual observer.
  
  

  These are valid points for those people who have long-term disabilities. It isn't normally difficult to discern whether an individual is permanently disabled or, in my case, temporarily handicapped. Those who sport casts, braces, bandages and use crutches are probably in for the short run and have had little time to adjust to their limited physical abilities.

  When I flew home from Australia I wobbled on crutches and had my leg in a bright blue cast. I needed, wanted and was grateful for all the help that was offered. I had a four-hour layover in the Los Angeles Airport where United graciously allowed me to spend the time in their Red Carpet Club but I might just as well have sat in the terminal. I had a small bag, a laptop and my backpack. There was no way I could manage those on my own; the process of getting something to eat was out of the question. Two couples sat near me and chatted as people do in airports but they refused to make eye contact with me.

  The copyright of the article Disability Etiquette in Golden Years is owned by Sharon Tabor Warren. Permission to republish Disability Etiquette in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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