“Isn’t that swinging?”
“Swinging” is when a couple or group have sex with other partners. Polyamory is when a couple/group have a relationship with other partners.
“Well, isn’t that cheating?”
If you call the government and tell them, “Hey, I’m going to cheat on my income taxes, just thought I’d let ya know”, and they said, “Ok, we don’t mind at all,”…is that cheating? If you sneak off and have an affair, that is NOT a Poly relationship. If a couple brings another person into their relationship, and both people know about it, how is it cheating?
Alt.polyamory’s FAQ http://www.faqs.org/faqs/polyamory/faq/ says:
“if someone openly practices "more than one love" and calls themself polyamorous, they probably are. If they practice "more than one love" and call themself monogamous, do not adjust your television: the problem is *not* in your receiver.”
“But the Bible says…”
Let’s not even get into that. The Bible says not to eat pork, either, but I love bacon. So sue me.
“I thought Polyamory was when a man had 12 wives or something.”
No, that’s polygamy, the act of having more than one spouse. Polygyny is having more than one wife. Polyandry is having more than one husband. Polyfidelity is a closed polygamous relationship (maybe a triad that isn’t looking for any more partners). I think that covers all the “poly fill-in-the-blank”.
“What’s a triad?”
Oops, forgot about that one. Ok, let’s look at a hypothetical situation. Bill and Sue are our married couple, very much in love, been together for 10 years. Bill is Sue’s primary partner, and Sue is Bill’s primary. A primary partner is usually the one that you have been with for the longest amount of time, your “first” relationship.
Bill and Sue bring Janet into their relationship as a secondary. Janet is the secondary partner of Bill and Sue. A secondary is basically the “second” partner…not legally bound to Bill and Sue, but in a relationship with them. Now Bill, Sue and Janet are a triad…a relationship with three people involved. And from there, it’s not too hard to figure out that if Janet brought in her husband, John, they would be a quad—a relationship involving four people.
