This article is dedicated to the parents of gifted and bright teens. Such teens are often very hard on others, particularly siblings. One characteristic of such teens is that they are very rule-abiding and that they expect others to follow the same rules just as avidly as they do.
Is your teen gifted? Simply look around at their environment and take some notes. Does your teen always do their chores? Is their room a neat and tidy place whereas the rooms of your other children are terribly messy. Is your teen's bed always made and their clothes always put in the right place? If your teen is organized and responsible in their personal space you probably have a gem. . . . .
Or maybe not. Gifted teens who follow the rules expect the rest of society to play fair and do the same. Dirty rooms of siblings are things a gifted teen will anguish over and nag about. If a sibling fails to do one of their chores, the parents are stuck with a tattle tale who reports the "lazy" siblings to their parents faithfully. Gifted teens want their siblings to follow the strict schedules they do. If they go to bed at nine, so must their siblings. If siblings fail to be in bed at the right time, the parents are again brought into a conflict.
It may not seem so bad, having such a caring and faithful teen, but families can turn into two sided battle zones with such a member. On one side is the parent who reveres their gifted child, and to them, anything the gifted child does or wants is law. This parent will punish other children in the family at any time the gifted child says they deserve it. On the other side is the parent who feels pity for her average children and tries to protect them. This parent doesn't want anyone to suffer and wants all family members to feel equal. The result is anger towards the oppressors- the other parent and the gifted teen.
How can such conflicts be resolved? It is a difficult task anyway one looks at it. Firstly, gifted teens are likely dedicated to their laws, and would feel completely sinful and guilty if they were forced to give them up. Secondly, how could a parent tell their perfect child to stop following so many rules, when this is what society wants? The solution is a compromise. Tell the teen that their characteristics are often seen in gifted bright teens but not in the rest of the world. Tell them
