From The “Who Knew” Files...What’s In A Name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet . . . ."
(Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare, Act II, Scene II)

Picture if you will: your offspring comes home and wants to know if he can have a sleepover with Terry, Lauren, Leslie and Cheyenne. You turn from the sink where you have been doing the dishes, and you want to say "yes", but from the depths of your stomach the realization suddenly hits you: are these boys or girls your young one wants to have a sleepover with?

While in your mind's eye you picture your little, golden-haired boy in the midst of a gaggle of giggling girls, trying on makeup and perfume (and playing with Barbie dolls!), you inwardly curse the parents of these children who couldn't simply name their offspring Tom, Dick, or Harry, and you question the sanity of the Office of the Clerk and Recorder of your state who lets them get away with it...all the while your offspring is eyeing you suspiciously. After all, such a simple question shouldn't require so long to be answered.

In America a parent can name a child anything and everything under the sun; in Germany, however, the government has felt an obligation to step in and draw a few lines. By German law, parents may pick a child's name, as long as it meets two vital conditions:

1. it must clearly reflect the gender of the child,
2. and it must not "endanger the well-being" of the child by either subjecting the child to ridicule or giving her/him a name deemed offensive.

The first stipulation is easy to understand. Those parents who appreciate the gender neutral names will be disappointed, however, later on when they find themselves in the position of the hypothetical parent we met at the beginning of the article, they will most likely thank their lucky stars for this ruling.

The second stipulation is a little harder to understand. Who decides if a name has the potential to be harmful? Similarly, what is offensive to one is music to the ears of another, or is it?

The 2002 case of a Turkish couple seeking to name their son Osama bin Laden brings home the validity of the law. The Cologne registration officials denied their application for this name, and requested that the parents choose a different name for this son. The parents appealed. In Frankfurt, a couple was forbidden from naming their child Schröder. Other names that have been forbidden include Woodstock, Pushkin, Hemingway, Hitler, Pumuckl, Stechpalme (German for holly), and Möwe (German for seagull).

Curious about what's in? According to the Gesellschaft für deutsche Sprache e.V., in 2003 the three top names for boys were: Maximilian, Alexander and Leon, while the favored girls' names were: Marie, Sophie, and Maria.

In closing, while it is true that naming a child is a highly subjective business, it appears that some parents need a little help with keeping it tasteful. I trust that the children who would have been named Hitler and Osama bin Laden (had it not been for the German regulations stepping in) but were able to escape this fate, are grateful indeed.

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