Don't Do Yoga While You're Drinking

The holiday season is upon us, and with that come holiday parties. There are the neighborhood parties, the office parties, the “We haven’t seen you in a year; wouldn’t it be nice to get together?” parties, and gatherings of friends. Though some parties intoxicate their guests with a surplus of food and enough sugar and food coloring to send the average four-year-old to the moon, most parties offer an alcohol option. It seems that this time of year is about more than just Hanukah, the Winter Solstice, and Christmas, it “’tis the season to get snockered.” Given the fact that so many folks are out drinking this time of year, I thought some helpful hints might be useful*. And if you’re a non-drinker, perhaps this will make you feel better about your decision to avoid alcohol laden libations.

We’ll just start with the obvious. If you’ve been drinking, don’t drive, operate on someone, fly a plane, go hunting, or do anything else that might result in someone’s untimely death. Not only might this land you in jail or at least in civil court, you might kill someone. Enough said.

If you’ve been drinking, do not do anything that will have even semi-permanent repercussions for your appearance. Never, for example, cut your own hair after you’ve been drinking. It’s a challenge to get things even when you’re sober and is almost impossible to do when drunk. And once your hair is gone, it’s gone for weeks, sometimes months. Weeks and months to face comments like, “Who cut your hair?” “What happened to your hair?” and “Perhaps you should try my hairdresser, Linda; she’s really good.” Tattoos and piercings also should be avoided.

If you’ve been drinking, it’s a bad idea to do yoga. Alcohol depresses the central nervous system, making you more likely to ignore the signals that your body ordinarily sends you during yoga saying, “Stop, this hurts!” Do not under any circumstances do impossible looking things like putting your feet behind your head. Not only do you risk ripping some muscles while getting your feet locked up there, but you risk getting them stuck up there, and that is a very bad thing. Martial arts and gymnastics are also out if you’ve been drinking for the same injury potential reason.

Headstands at bars and/or parties should be avoided, especially on tables and especially if your shirt is not tucked in. People tend to remember such stunts for decades and ask for a repeat performance.

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