Healing From Tragedies Past and Present

As I write this to her, I realize that I’m also afraid -- terrified. My fear seems less obvious to me because I am not afraid of war or of terrorists. I’m afraid of my feelings and my memories. Usually I can shut them out. But hearing about people dying in graphic detail, especially the couple who jumped out the window together and the people who were burned alive, takes me right back to being a child and living in a nightmare that was real. I can feel my brother choking me and then slapping me and punching me to get me to “wake up” so that he can rape me. I can empathize with how it feels to think I'm going to die and that feeling is terrifying. All of the sudden, Wednesday’s flashbacks make sense.

Finally, my rape crisis training kicks in and I remember that any sort of crisis can trigger flashbacks. And as with reactions to rape, there are lots of reactions to this crisis. Some people respond like I did, with numbness. Others are really angry, sad and/or afraid. These are all very normal responses to a horrific situation. At the same time, it’s very likely that this crisis has ripped open some old wounds and that some of the numbness, anger, grief, and fear that you are feeling relates as much to these old wounds as it does to the present horror.

I’d like to invite all of you to look beyond the obvious reasons for your feelings this week and search your past. Try asking yourself, “What does this remind me of?” Going back into your past will not only help you to heal from past wounds, but it will also help you to better cope with your current feelings, whether they involve day to day issues or last week’s tragedy. In the meantime, be gentle with yourself and the people around you. Give yourself time to heal from traumatic events such the ones from last Tuesday, and know that healing is possible.

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