The sexual script for women still leaves us in a double bind. On the positive side, according to the new script, a woman can have sex with a man, and even enjoy it, if she loves him. However, women who have sex with someone they don't love risk being labeled as "sluts" or "whores" and pay the price for their boldness. Women who reject a man's sexual proposition may be labeled "frigid bitches" or "lezzies." Women who chose to be sexual with other women (and men who chose to be sexual with other men) face social rejection as well as violence. All women may face the threat of "put out or get out;" some are simply raped.
I remember a conversation that I had with my dorm mates had when I was in college that points to the power of this script. My friends and I were all hanging out, eating popcorn, drinking beer and joking about sex, when one woman changed the tone. She told us that sex with her boyfriend was really boring. She described herself just laying there, making noises to encourage him to get done, feeling nothing stimulating or erotic herself. After she said that, other women described similar experiences. Since then, a number of women have described similar experiences to me. When I have asked women why they are sexual when it isn't pleasing for them, they have responded with fear that their partner will leave them, or worse, that the partner will take it anyway.
Since the sexual revolution of the 60s, heterosexual sex has become the defining component of masculinity. The male sexual script incorporates this directive. Rooted in homophobia*, the script focuses on male dominance in sex and an achievement orientation towards sex. Boys learn at an early age that being masculine means objectifying females, fixating on specific female body parts such as legs, breasts, or hips, and using women for sexual gratification. According to the script, men are supposed to want sex anywhere, anyhow, anytime. Sexually conquering women has become the way for a man to prove to himself and others that he is not queer. Sharing these sexual conquests with other men is the way to prove his masculinity to other men. It is no doubt because of this script that high percentages of high school and college aged males report in surveys that it is ok to force sex on a girl/woman if the man bought her dinner.
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