For most girls, these rules are strictly enforced. Parents and teachers tend to hold girls accountable to the gender roles. However, it is the cruelty of adolescent society, or peer pressure, that has the most impact. Girls who don't fit in often face ostracism or at least humiliation. Words like "bitch," "tease," "whore," "cow," "dog," or "dyke" serve to keep down those who fall short of the strict rules of womanhood and to discourage any would-be rebels.
Not too long ago, I was riding the bus home from campus and witnessed a group of adolescent girls enforce the gender roles. One girl in the group was joyful and began telling a story, full of dramatic details. Before she could get five sentences out, one of her peers shamed her into silence by saying, "You're talking too loud. You need to be quiet." The storyteller wilted, as if she had been beaten back into place. In my opinion, she had not been talking that loudly, and I couldn't help thinking that a group of boys never would have silenced a peer in that way. They may have told him that he was stupid, but the issue wouldn't have been about living out loud.
Through sexual harassment, adolescent boys play an even stronger role in disempowering girls. During adolescence, boys dramatically increase sexual harassment. Every harassing comment whittles away at a girl's self esteem. Sexual harassment reinforces the idea that females are less than and only hold merit as sexual objects, not as human beings. For example, when I was in high school, I remember a group of boys would lay on the floor (to look up the girl's dresses) as girls walked by, then hold up signs rating them from one to ten for their attractiveness. I tried to ignore them, but I remember living in fear of being rated. My stomach still tightens when I think about it.
Unfortunatly, the disempowering effect of training bras and the rules they represent last into adulthood. It occurs to me that this is the real purpose of training bras. They are metaphorical shackles designed to train women to be docile and compliant. As women, we can only achieve our true humanity by throwing out the rules like we threw out the training bras when they no longer fit.
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