Sunsets: A Woman's Search for Meaning

I think I felt the experience of meaninglessness so keenly because I had so carefully organized my life around achieving meaning. I worked hard to attain degrees and achieve goals so that I could, if not save the world, at least make the world a better place. And despite my efforts, children still get raped and beaten, women still don't have equal rights, corporations still ravage the environment, people are still starving all over the planet even though there is a surplus of food, and my government is still forcing its will on the rest of the world. The catch was that I was so focused on reaching my destination -- one that I now understand is unobtainable -- that I rarely took time to experience the journey. When I was looking at my bulletin board, I was so focused on what was my failure to reach my destination that I missed the fact that somewhere along that path, I began to find my true self, the me that lies at the core of my existence that is not dominated by the rules and roles imposed on me by my family, my society and myself. At a deeper level, the sadness of realizing that I had missed those years by not being truly present with those friends and at those events reverberated deep within my soul.

The reason that picture of that sunset mattered to me was that I was truly present when my partner and I took the picture. It was the only memory captured on my bulletin board when I experienced the rapture of being alive. This, according to Joseph Campbell, is what it's all about.

For more information, see:

Campbell, J. and Moyers, B. 2001. "The Message of the myth." Joseph Campbell and the power of myth with Bill Moyers. [Video Recording]. New York. Mystic Fire Video.

Deurzen-Smith, E. (1988). Existential counseling in practice. London: Sage. Frankl, V. (1963). Man's search for meaning. New York: Washington Square Press. Yalom, I. 1980. Existential psychotherapy. New York: Basic Books.

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