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IS A CEREMONY IMPORTANT?

© Claudia McCreary

When a lover first talked to me about having a Holy Union, I really didn’t see the point. After all, it wasn’t legal. It had no real bond on us and it seemed like a lot of hoopla for nothing. That lover and I split up a few months later so it obviously wasn’t a long term, through-it-all type of relationship!

The more I thought about it though, the better the idea appeared but, alas, for all then wrong reasons. I figured a whole day devoted to us with my lover and I as the center of attention couldn’t be all-bad! Plus we even got gifts! Who wouldn’t want the ceremony?

But then I met my spouse; my partner for life and things began to appear different. Now it was about making a commitment to one another. The legal thing didn’t really matter. It was about our love for one another. It was about making a public commitment and becoming a family.

We included one of our sons in the ceremony. He walked me, his new step mom down the aisle. He also stood by my side along with my best friend as a witness to our commitment. We even gave him a special family medallion and chain because we wanted him to feel that we really were his family.

People have different types of Holy Unions. We had the whole deal, just like a heterosexual wedding. We had printed invitations and programs and I, who was in the closet, even got off a week for our “honeymoon and a company check for one weeks pay as a wedding gift! I didn’t wear a wedding dress although my partner wore a tux. I just couldn’t see me in the white dress and veil. This did, however disappoint my partner.

Holy Unions have become very controversial with pastors in mainstream churches who perform them facing serious issues with their denominations. Some have been threatened with being defrocked. However, there seem to be more and more Ministers of every faith willing to perform Holy Unions. In fact, 68 members of the United Methodist Clergy were brought up on charges for officiating in the Holy Union of Jeanne Barnett (left) and Ellie Charlton on Saturday, January 16, 1999. In all, 170 ministers participated in this particular Holy Union of which 157 were from the United Methodist church. The union itself was held to protest the UMC policy against same sex unions. For more on the denominations protest see http://www.umaffirm.org/cornet/calnev.ht... For more on the Union in question see http://www.umaffirm.org/spiritual/cservi...

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