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For Better OR Worse: Love In the Trenches

© Claudia McCreary

Mavis was suddenly faced with a reality she couldn’t avoid. Her partner Alice’s was very ill. The doctors did not know if she would live out a normal life span. Alice was disabled. She could not work and she needed a lot of attention. Mavis found her self responsible for Alice’s personal needs.

Mavis and Alice had been together for 9 years. They met at a Lesbian Potluck and the attraction was immediate. Alice had two kids who lived with their dad. While Mavis had never experienced the need for motherhood, it wasn’t a problem since the kids didn’t live with Alice.

The time came when Mavis and Alice decided to form a lifetime partnership. They had a Holy Union and did everything they could to bind themselves to one another. In the beginning Mavis was recovering from a broken vertebrae that meant she could not work for a few years. She was in pain and felt very worthless. Alice, who worked for a hospital as a technician didn’t want to come home and have to care for someone. She was angry and that didn’t help Mavis. But they made it through.

Alice liked the fact that Mavis didn’t work and she was the breadwinner. It made her feel important. They laughed at her butch ego. But Mavis really hated not working and so she threw herself into housework and tried hard to find Internet type jobs that would keep her occupied!

But now Alice was ill and Mavis was suddenly the caregiver, not to mention the breadwinner. They lived on savings for a while as Mavis nursed Alice and prayed she would get well. Three years passed and Alice, contrary to everything the doctor’s thought, kept hanging on. She had several major surgeries and survived 3 massive super infections that wouldn’t respond to normal antibiotics.

Alice was finally home after countless hospitalizations, and Alice was faced with having to find work, something she hadn’t really done in 9 years. The Internet was great for a few bucks here and there, but a livable wage eluded her. Furthermore, as a cost cutting measure, they had to leave their wonderful townhouse for a less expensive apartment. The last move had been a major one that was necessitated by Alice’s work. Mavis had done almost all the packing and all of the unpacking. She tried hard not to resent having to do everything herself again and not to resent Alice doing little around the house. But it was so hard. She knew she loved Alice, but was love enough?

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