Good Bye My Love

Jack expected his spouse’s death for a few years since he was ill. The hardest thing for him was packing up the house and moving into a single room apartment. He found solace with a grief support group that he still attends, although now it is to reach out to others in their time of need.

Love can last past death, but it cannot prevent its sting. Be sure you are ready so that your love can be protected. This is not the time to have family strife over your loved one’s belongings. There are too many horror stories about a spouse’s family coming in and cleaning out all of a partner’s possessions and forcing a spouse to move from a family home. Have your wills ready. Make sure that power of attorneys are up to date so that you have some say in the medical decisions. If you have children, prepare guardianship papers or pursue duel parent adoption. This way you don’t lose everything you have built together and you protect yourself during a time when you need to be allowed to grieve and take the time you need.

Remember, each of us has a finite number of days on this earth. Enjoy them as long as they last. Like Tom, don’t let your happiness be tinged with the threat of sadness. Live your lives together fully and with hope. And try to not allow yourself to have regrets that could haunt you. Be prepared but don’t begin grieving until it is time.

[Thanks to Lesbian Connection for some of the stories in this article. Others come frompersonal interviews]

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