When You Prick Us Do We Not Bleed?

It is hard to fathom why we gays and lesbians frighten people? After all, as is often said, we all put our pants on one leg at a time. My partner and I have been a committed family since 1994. We pay taxes. We live quiet lives. We have never been in trouble with the police or any other government agency. We have a garden at our house, our kids went to public schools and we did the PTO fund raising bit just like other parents. Yet the idea of us legally marrying appears to strike terror into the hearts of John Q. Public.

My partner and I consider us married to one another. In 1994 we had a Holy Union in our church, which was as close as we could get to a marriage. At that time through signing wills and Power of Attorneys etc. We bound ourselves together as much as we could legally. But the true bond was in our hearts.

Our life together has not been easy. When we returned home from our honeymoon a storm cloud descended upon us. On her first day back to work at a big city hospital my partner was informed the hospital was closing. She would be with out a job. This was extremely traumatic for her since she had a very strong work ethic and had never been with out a job

One month after our ceremony I survived a very bad car accident and shattered the head of my femur. I spent 5 weeks in the hospital and was told I would never walk again. I was totally incapacitated for several months. For the next year I slept in the living room and later the dining room of our two story house. I struggled and worked to regain my ability to walk.

It was very hard on my partner as she nursed people at the hospital every day and then had to come home to nurse me. I feared she would leave me since it was so much work and she was never in a good mood. But we persevered and the tide began to turn.

I learned to walk and my partner got a lucrative job in a well-known private practice of physicians. And even more of a miracle is that we stayed together. There were times when all that kept us together was that tiny little ceremony and life pledge. But we learned an important lesson about love. It wasn’t the romantic feelings and wistful times, although those are certainly needed and enjoyed. True love is staying there when it is dark and life is a struggle. This is a far closer bond then some piece of paper that says we are legally married.

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